My African-American wife's family hates me, but we want a child?

I know you may not think so. But as long as you & her agree that you love each other and want to have children together, I say screw her family and have the children. Tell the parents that if they can't accept you then you won't be around nor will their grandchildren. You deserve a happy life with the family that you & your wife want. I hope your life becomes exactly what you want it to be :)